Stepford Wives

Aren't they amusing? They used to frustrate me and drive me crazy, but now I just laugh at them. Do they really think everything is that peachy?

"Oh, I just spent the morning cleaning the house, cooking the meals, volunteering with my children at the local animal shelter, reading books to my children and playing various children's games. I did it all with a smile on my face and joy in my heart. My children don't get in trouble and are perfect angel's; I never raise my voice to them. I make all my meals from scratch, even when my husband is away for weeks at a time. Blah, blah, blah."

NO ONE is that good! No, I haven't heard anyone say ALL of this, but they have said some of them (usually more than one) and imply others. They have this "I'm so good, I have it all together" attitude. Seriously? You always have a smile on your face and joy in your heart? You never raise your voice to your children? You really make all your meals from scratch? Puh-leeze!

I used to feel like an incompetent, lousy fool of a mom because NONE of those things apply to me! My son is 13 months old and has already had a few meals of Chicken McNuggets. Oh no! He's going to be harmed for life! Someone call children's services and have me taken away! Criminy.

I was talking to the man about this the other day and he brought up the Stepford Wive's. It is SO true! They are beyond "Susie Homemaker", they are downright scary! I think he had it right though, they may have the smile on their face, but they are only fooling themselves and that is just sad. It's okay to get angry and raise your voice. Not all the time, but nothing in life is that perfect.

My question is this: Is it healthy to do this to yourself?

I'm not sure. Sometimes I think these people do this to make themselves think everything is hunky-dory and not get overwhelmed, but it's important to recognize where things aren't going right. That way you can release those emotions instead of keeping them bottled up where they will one day explode.

I'll admit, I am a recovering bottler. I am the product of two bottling parents. I remember only a few fights growing up, but those scared me. There would be yelling, throwing (never at each other and usually items in the garage, not abusive) and I would be scared for days. I never wanted to see my parents like that. I remember one time vividly and I ended up having my oldest sister take me to a friends house. I cried for what seemed like hours until I was so exhausted I fell asleep.

I don't want my children to see that. I want them to see their parents sharing their frustrations in a positive way. We aren't always great at this, but we have never had a fight either. We have come close, but we haven't been there. We talk about things before they get that far. If there is anything remotely close to a fight, I'll admit it's usually my fault.

I may not be the best mom in the world, or wife for that matter, but they will see that I'm not perfect and I won't set the bar so high that they feel they will never measure up. I sometimes feel that way - like I'll never measure up to standards. At least I'm not a Stepford Wife ! I do wish I looked like one though! Man, I wish I could at least look that put together!


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ETA: Ok, I feel compelled to say that I believe it is entirely possible to live with joy in your heart and a smile on your face, but I don't think that it is possible 100% of the time. I do know people who are like this, but even they have their moments where they have to just let things out. Shoot, even Jesus got angry and frustrated and showed it. I do believe God gives us the ultimate joy. I believe I came across harsher than I intended to in my post and I apologize. I was just tired of hearing people pretend everything is always perfect and life isn't perfect.