Trusting Your Mommy Gut

Tonight I learned a very important lesson in trusting your mommy gut. My daughter is on a prophylactic antibiotic for a year in hope that her kidneys will begin to work correctly (she currently has issues with reflux). The medication she is on is this horrendous banana flavor - say it with me, "yuck".

Why they ever decided to make infant meds this flavor is beyond me. Cherry, strawberry, grape I can understand, but BANANA? COME ON! You just can't reproduce that flavor - trust me I tried it and gagged. In order to get her to take her daily dose, we have been "hiding" it in her food, all ninja-like. Her bananas, rice, avocados, sweet potatoes and green beans have all had their chance at ninja duty. We share the wealth since they don't like their flavors altered with that nastiness. They told me so.

Well, little miss always sqinches up her face and sticks out her tongue at the first taste of the not-so-stealth food - her food needs additional ninja training apparently. Either that or nothing is that good - which is my guess. In the past couple of days she has decided that she will fight with all her might to not eat the particular item her meds are in. I guess she doesn't know that it will help her, just that it tastes disgusting. I've tried telling her, honest.

Today my wonderful husband decides that we should try just giving it to her straight up. So since she didn't get her dose in her lunch (she is a stubborn thing, that girl), I decided I should try it tonight. Of course I decide this on a night he is on duty (though it seems like he always is lately, but that's for another post). Anyway, as soon as she is finished eating her entire dinner - let me say she did a wonderful job at it too, she must have been hungry - I get up, walk to the medicine cabinet, fill her dropper, walk back to her high chair, bend down and start by dropping about 1/3 into her mouth. All the while, I'm telling myself, "This is NOT going to end well. I should just leave it be for the night and let her enjoy her after-dinner drink [aka water]."

I should have listened to myself. When will I learn?!? As soon as it hit her throat (I put it as far back on her tongue so as not to have her taste it as much) she started gagging. Aaaand....up came what looked like all of her dinner. Yum. So, I spend the next few minutes cleaning her up, calming her down and holding her as I wash off her tray. I'd be having a fit too if I had were her.

I totally just want to take her off this friggin' medicine and call it good. I just know though that if she were to get another kidney infection, I would never forgive myself because I would be the one taking her off her meds. The only other option is to change her to a higher strength antibiotic, but I really don't like that idea either.

As I sit here with my baby girl asleep on my chest, I realize that I should never doubt my intuition. God blessed me with mothers' intuition and I didn't use it. He instilled me (and other women) this gift of feeling, or heart or gut or whatever else you want to call it. I did learn that I need to use that gift to help my children. However, because I failed this time, I won't (in this situation at least) next time.

So moms, trust your gut. He gave you instinct, use it.

I do want to say too, that it was a good idea my husband had. We needed to try it to see if it would work. When we try again, it will be on an empty stomach though. Either that or my husband can clean up her mess, cause that was just nasty.

The Ugly Nail

I used to have gorgeous hands and nails. I had people tell me all the time I should be a hand model. I laughed and thought they were kidding, but I did realize I had good nails. I have long fingers and my nails were always in GREAT condition. They would grow out long and straight, and were nice and thick. When people asked, "What's your favorite part of your body?" I would answer, "My hands and nails."

Why am I speaking as if this were the past? Well, because it certainly isn't true any more. My hands stopped being so pretty the day after my last day of 8th grade. I went camping with my parents and another family we were good friends with and their son (who was like a brother to me and one year younger) and I decided to go for a bike ride. We rode up a large hill and found a beautiful church where someone was going to be married that evening. We headed back down the road and I had a blast with the wind whipping my long hair around and blasting my face. We laughed and had a great time the whole way down. Right before the last hill down into the campground I stopped to wait for my friend (ha ha, I was winning) to see if he wanted to race to the campsite. Of course he says yes.

On your mark, get set, GO! We were off at what we considered breakneck speed and right at the bottom I had missed the patch of gravel on the road. My front tire hit a rock and down my bike slid. I remember sliding and holding on to the handlebars, ending up with the front tire under a parked car. I don't know how I made it back to the RV. Maybe I walked, maybe my friend went to get my parents, I don't remember. I remember the pain and getting the embedded rocks out of my arm, hand and leg. I still have scars. I was told it was smart to hold the handlebars because they could have easily whipped around and hit me right in the head, causing more damage.

That's why my hands are no longer "model" material. I have this strange bump on my right index finger, right at the first joint. I miss my pretty hands. My nails were still good for a long time though.

So how about my nails? A few years ago, I think it was back in 2005, I was working in the kitchen one day and was opening a drawer. My finger missed the pull and my nail got it. Nothing major, but for some reason it hurt my finger something fierce. I look down and my right middle finger had pulled back some and the nail bed was bleeding.

I don't know why it happened. My husband and I were dealing with infertility and I was on medication for that, so maybe that did it. Maybe it was the stress or my poor diet at the time (I was also working full time and working on my Master's degree full time). Who knows. All I know is that it hurt. It happened once or twice more that week and then I forgot about it. I figured it would heal and my nail would start to grow normally again.

WRONG! My nail hasn't healed normally and is now a funky shape and the nail bed is really small. I tend to hide my nails now and I'm embarrassed by them. I still catch that one nail every now and then and pull it back more. I told my husband the other day (after another random pull) that I wouldn't be surprised if I one day pulled the whole nail off. I was only slightly kidding.

It did get me thinking though. Every time I start to forget about it and not be as careful with how I pull out drawers or whatever, I end up catching it, pulling it back even further. How often does that happen in our lives? We forget about the important things and then, BAM, all of a sudden, something happens to force you to notice it. We do well for a while, but then either get busy with other things or get lazy, or we just get comfortable and honestly just forget. It's not bothering us anymore, so it no longer needs special attention.

These things do need attention though. I'm sure if I were to pay more attention and keep my nail cut shorter, it wouldn't catch on things as often. Why is it that something has to force us to take action? We need to make sure the important things are taken care of before something happens, creating pain or discomfort, and requires attention.

This is true of our spiritual walk as well. I know that in my own life I do well for a while. I read my bible daily, pray throughout the day, speak to my kids about God and Jesus, then I get lazy or tired or busy or any of the other millions of excuses I use and these things slip. I'm getting through life and then, yup, there it is. Something happens, I'm angry all the time, my kids are fussy and whiny, my husband is gone and the house starts falling apart. Then I start to pray and read and teach again. I hope and pray that I will get to the point that I don't have those long lapses of contentment without my Father. I hate that it takes something to remind me to pray in order for me to rearrange my priorities once again. I do so much better when I include Him as the head of my life. I've noticed my family does as well.